Things I Said to My Roommate While Reading Order of the Phoenix

"Hermione's not taking any bullsh*t this book."
"There's lots of throwing up in this book. Some of it's actually kinda funny, and you know how I hate gag gags."
*stifles scream of laughter* "Oh my God! Oh, sorry, it's just -- Fred and George -- "
"For the second time, someone has called someone a berk!" (little side squees about Giles in "Earshot")
"And Fred and George ride off into the sunset..."
"Shh! I'm at the exciting part!"
"Oh, man, I just have to read you the last line of this chapter -- it's Lockhart -- 'I didn't learn joined-up writing for nothing, you know!'" ("Well, joined-up writing is hard," she said with a smirk.)

Things I Said to Myself While Reading Order of the Phoenix

"Hmm, this reminds me a bit of Chaim Potok's The Chosen."
"But Ginny didn't go to the Yule Ball...unless she snuck in."
"DIE, Umbridge!"
"Boy, she wasn't kidding when she said Harry was a lot angrier."
"I wonder what the tune for 'Weasley is Our King' is?...Hmm, no, not 'God Save the Queen.' 'You'll Never Walk Alone?'...No, can't be that either. 'Camptown Races' fits okay, without the doo-dahs...except Malfoy is hardly likely to know a Muggle tune, especially an American one. Of course, it could have an original tune...it probably does...Anyway, good to see Ron getting a bit of heckling on his own account -- and getting the better of it, too."
"Oy, Harry. First you describe your first kiss as 'wet', just like Ray did in Rain Man -- and now you John Gray it with your date! Seeing as Hermione did not see fit to reach over and slap your head, allow me..."
Speaking of head-slapping: "We interrupt this moment of sympathy for Neville Longbottom to hit Ron up the back of the head. There. Thank you. Carry on."
Snape: "I knew it! I knew he and Harry would get one-on-one time! And it about went as expected, too." *loves them both*
"Huzzah! Huzzah! Ginny -- Ron -- Quidditch -- hurray!"
"H'm, never thought I'd feel sorry for Trelawney."
"Hurray for Ginny! Hurray for Ginny! Calling Harry out, ooer!"
"And the Bat Bogey Curse." *F&G-like grin*
And talking of Fred and George: "Bloody hell -- they -- umm -- wow."
"Yes, this really does remind me of The Chosen."

Will be posting other more spoilerish thoughts behind other people's cut tags.