From one of Walt's comments re penis envy:

And that is only half of the story. We haven't even mentioned the active female participation.

This subject has already reminded me of the Greek legend of Teiresias, who was asked to mediate between Zeus and Hera in their argument whether the man or the woman has the better deal. They made him into a woman for ten years, and at the end of them he told Zeus and Hera that the woman had the better deal. Hera felt like he'd ratted her out, so she blinded Teiresias and sent him to wander for the rest of his life. See, we think the Greeks are ignorant because they don't have our technology, but despite being rather barbaric (irony intended) they knew what they were talking about.

The main point I was trying to make is that women don't need to be envious of men. Everybody knows this, it's not a big secret, so the theory of penis envy is at best a paltry attempt to even the scale, requiring us to raise up a Luce Irigaray to answer it.

And we can use our brains and our reproductive organs at the same time, so there. No, they're not mood swings, they're biorhythmical undulations.

*slams book shut and runs away cackling*