I've developed a minor crush on Alton Brown. And who, you may ask, is he? He's the host of a cooking show called "Good Eats" on the Food Network, and his show is really cool. One night we watched him after watching "Emeril Live!" and it was such a relief to laugh at a man who is actually funny. He takes a single everyday food item and tells you all sorts of lore about it while he makes easy (and fun) dishes out of it. And he's cute. Of course he's married, but hey, I crush on Rupert Everett too, so why not?

Jessica and I are toying with the idea of getting the season DVDs of Good Eats so that we don't ever have to stay up till 2:30 a.m. to see a new episode. Not that we have $50 or anything. But we've already tried his french onion soup recipe and it rules. My birthday is next month, everybody. Dad H. has already got me a pea coat, so he's out. Somebody needs to buy me Good Eats.

And while you're at it, somebody buy me Kiefer Sutherland. Is it just me, or is he getting hotter with age? If you can't swing him, see if you can get me Adam Arkin. I especially love him in his occasional role as Dr. Stanley Keyworth on West Wing.

But whatever you do, DON'T give me one of those suckerpunch cards with the beefcake guy on the front. That is sooo not attractive. Although it can be funny at times. I don't know. *hits head, trying to dislodge Hemingway* Which reminds me of a great quote from Hemingway, just for Natasha: "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof shit detector. This is the writer’s radar and all great writers have had it."

*snickering*