Not My Rant, But Ambrosial
Pursuant to Natasha's comment about "wanker" being an excellent all-purpose epithet, I have a story to relate.
Jessica and I went grocery shopping this afternoon to prepare for the home Seder meal she is going to make. (It promises to be quite the evening: the Agape meal, the Maundy Thursday Liturgy, and a Passover meal when I get home!) Unfortunately, the store we chose -- a large one with an international foods aisle -- had plenty of matzo meal and crackers, but none of it kosher for Passover. "I go through this every year in this town. Gentile wankers!" Jessica muttered. It's always cute when she brings her Anglophile and Jewish selves together to form epithets. The thing is, she's right. You can eat kosher-for-Passover matzo year round, but you can't eat regular matzo on Passover: so why don't stores take care to stock kosher-for-Passover matzo more often? The answer is, of course, that the stores do buy kosher-for-Passover matzo. For Hanukkah. So we had this whole discussion of methods of qualifying "wanker" with "gentile", and how it actually fits despite being an ethnic mesh of insults.
So we went to another superstore to look for kosher-for-Passover matzo. Found cute little kosher-for-Passover matzo crackers, but that was it. On the way home, she ranted: "You know, every year the Jewish community goes to the managers and explains that if they only stocked kosher-for-Passover matzo, we would be fine. Instead, we get our special matzo on Hanukkah -- " "As well as ceramic seder plates in Marshall's on Hanukkah." (They also had hideous snow globes that played the Dreidel Song, but that's another story.) "Yeah, guess they were too busy wanking to listen." I found this very funny -- and mind-boggling. "I just don't understand that," I said. "Well, you can't speak to the issue, you're not a gentile wanker..." She stopped. "Well, technically -- " "The point is, I don't wank instead of think," I said, helping. "I wank when it's time to wank, and I think when it's time to think." "Exactly."
So there it is.
Pursuant to Natasha's comment about "wanker" being an excellent all-purpose epithet, I have a story to relate.
Jessica and I went grocery shopping this afternoon to prepare for the home Seder meal she is going to make. (It promises to be quite the evening: the Agape meal, the Maundy Thursday Liturgy, and a Passover meal when I get home!) Unfortunately, the store we chose -- a large one with an international foods aisle -- had plenty of matzo meal and crackers, but none of it kosher for Passover. "I go through this every year in this town. Gentile wankers!" Jessica muttered. It's always cute when she brings her Anglophile and Jewish selves together to form epithets. The thing is, she's right. You can eat kosher-for-Passover matzo year round, but you can't eat regular matzo on Passover: so why don't stores take care to stock kosher-for-Passover matzo more often? The answer is, of course, that the stores do buy kosher-for-Passover matzo. For Hanukkah. So we had this whole discussion of methods of qualifying "wanker" with "gentile", and how it actually fits despite being an ethnic mesh of insults.
So we went to another superstore to look for kosher-for-Passover matzo. Found cute little kosher-for-Passover matzo crackers, but that was it. On the way home, she ranted: "You know, every year the Jewish community goes to the managers and explains that if they only stocked kosher-for-Passover matzo, we would be fine. Instead, we get our special matzo on Hanukkah -- " "As well as ceramic seder plates in Marshall's on Hanukkah." (They also had hideous snow globes that played the Dreidel Song, but that's another story.) "Yeah, guess they were too busy wanking to listen." I found this very funny -- and mind-boggling. "I just don't understand that," I said. "Well, you can't speak to the issue, you're not a gentile wanker..." She stopped. "Well, technically -- " "The point is, I don't wank instead of think," I said, helping. "I wank when it's time to wank, and I think when it's time to think." "Exactly."
So there it is.
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